The informant interview: what a parent or partner is asked

What an informant is and why clinicians ask for one

An informant is someone who knows you well and can describe your behavior from the outside. Autism is diagnosed partly on whether signs were present in early development, and most adults cannot remember being two or four years old. A parent or older relative can fill that gap. A partner or close friend can describe what you are like at home, which is often different from how you appear in an appointment.

Who can be an informant

• A parent or step-parent, ideally one who was present in your early years.
• An older sibling, aunt, uncle or grandparent who saw you often as a child.
• A long-time partner or spouse, especially for current patterns.
• A close friend who has known you for many years.
• Occasionally, a former teacher or childhood caregiver.

Questions parents and relatives are commonly asked

Parents usually speak about early development. Topics, written here in our own words, include:

• When the person first spoke, walked and used gestures like pointing or waving.
• How they played: alone or with others, imaginative or orderly, the same games repeatedly or varied.
• How they responded to their name, to other children, and to adults outside the family.
• Any unusual interests, collections or intense focus on topics.
• Reactions to noise, textures, food, clothing or busy places.
• How they managed changes in routine, transitions between activities or new environments.
• Friendships at school, bullying, and comments from teachers.
• Repetitive movements, such as rocking, flapping or spinning.

Some clinicians use a structured caregiver interview with fixed questions and scoring. The best known is the Autism Diagnostic Interview, Revised (ADI-R), a lengthy standardized interview about development and behavior. Others use a shorter semi-structured conversation.

Questions partners and friends are commonly asked

• How the person handles social plans, and how they seem afterward.
• Whether they take things literally or miss hints.
• How they react to unexpected changes at home or work.
• Sensory preferences, such as needing quiet or avoiding certain textures.
• How they express emotions and handle stress.
• Their interests and routines, and what happens if those are interrupted.

Tips for the informant

• Look at old photos, baby books, school reports or home videos beforehand to jog memory.
• Give concrete examples rather than general impressions.
• Say when you are unsure. Guessing can mislead.
• Describe what was typical, not just one memorable event.
• Be honest even if something feels awkward to share. The clinician is not judging parenting.

When no informant is available

Parents may have died, be estranged, have poor memory of those years, or have their own reasons to minimize difficulties. This is very common in adult assessment and does not prevent a diagnosis. Clinicians can rely more on your own detailed recollection, school or medical records, and current observation.

What happens with the information

The clinician combines the informant account with your own interview, questionnaires and observation. No single source decides the outcome. Where accounts differ, for example a parent remembering an easygoing toddler while you remember constant overwhelm, the clinician considers why. Parents may not have seen masked distress, or may remember a sibling more clearly. The written report usually summarizes what the informant described, so you can read it later.

When the informant notices traits in themselves

Autism often runs in families. It is not unusual for a parent answering questions about their child to recognize their own experiences in the conversation. That can be a positive moment, though it can also feel unsettling. If a relative raises this, you can point them toward information about adult assessment for themselves, without pressure.

Asking a family member to take part

Some adults feel nervous about asking. A simple, direct message often works: I am having an assessment to understand myself better, and the clinician would like to hear about what I was like as a child. Would you be willing to talk to them for about an hour? Share what the clinician will ask about, and let them know there are no right or wrong answers.